filed in Random Stuff on Aug.31, 2010
Someone emailed me this site called Plenty of Fish Tales. It’s sort of like a dating-themed FML site with a few gems in there. I had a read through and a couple stories jumped out and made me laugh. I thought I’d share them with you guys. Remember guys, if you come across something funny and hilarious, feel free to send it my way :) Enjoy!
No Second Date For You
I went on a blind date from eHarmony. The girl was a little chubby and at some point during dinner she proclaimed “I can’t wait until I get married so I can let myself go.”
Yeah, no second date for her.
What A Clown
I set up a date with this guy from Lavalife. He thought it would be a good idea if he showed up dressed as a clown for our date. He thought wrong!
For 30 painful minutes he tried to amuse me with juggling, honking a horn, and making balloon animals. I was not amused.
What a buffoon.
Flowers For A Lady – Some Lady
I went out on a first date with the extremely hot girl, I’m talking model hot. She said she liked me because I was down to earth and had a good sense of humor. Her story went that she was tired of dating jocks that didn’t treat her right.
Ten minutes into our date some muscle bound guy walks up to our table and starts flirting with her like I’m not even sitting there. After about 5 minutes of this she politely suggests that this isn’t the right time or place.
About 15 minutes go by and then all of a sudden the guy comes back and drops off flowers… how rude! When he leaves she reads the attached note and pointed out that it included his name and number.
At the end of the date she she has the audacity to say “it was great meeting you but I guess I just can’t change.” She folded the note, stuck it in her purse, and left.
I Think I Blind Dated Steve Dahl
I met this lady on Plenty Of Fish who started the initial conversation saying men dont wanna date; I said I will, which she tap danced around. During the subsequent conversations she kinda came across as an angry person, or, was it a comedian? I eventually talked her into a date. She wanted to meet for a bike ride as she was very into biking and meeting for a drink was not possible as she only drank water. She called many times but I often couldn’t hear the phone and would miss her. She wouldnt give me her number for “security” reasons. Eventually she showed up in a polyester Hawaiian shirt and grey crew-cut and was about 80 pounds over weight (some athlete). I swear she looked like Steve Dahl. She was a professional walker and spent the entire time teaching me how to walk (we never did bike ride). I was lucky, a pal called and invited me to dinner so I ran like the police were chasing me.
I decided to propose to my girlfriend using the old cornball diamond ring in a glass of champagne trick. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer sitting at the table next to us in the restaurant.
When my girlfriend was distracted I discretely slipped the ring into her glass. The cop assumed it was a date rape drug.
As I was about to get down on one knee he tackled me from behind and wrestled me to the ground. I ended up bruised, bloodied, and beaten before things got straightened out.
So much for romance.
P.S. She still said yes