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August 4th, 2010 on 6:56 am
Mom walked in on sex. I tossed that girl off like a rag doll.
College has brought up some interesting experiences, but that was certainly the one that’s left me the most scarred.
August 4th, 2010 on 8:23 pm
9th grade, ill never forget it. I was having my first ever serious relationship. Me and this girl decided to try sex for the first time. We planned it out weeks in advance, making sure nobody would be home and that if someone did come home there would be an escape route. Wouldn’t you know the second I penetrate her we hear the front door open. My brother walks by my room while the girl is trying to get her clothes on in my closet probably scared out of her mind. My brother walks out of his room and down into the basement (he only needs to pick up something he left home then is going back to work.) So by the time the girl is completely dressed I sneak her out the front door. Just as that happens my brother comes back up stairs, walks into my room where I was sitting trying to fix my bed and said, “hey if your gonna have sex when nobody is home, make sure you at least get rid of the condom.” of course the condom was laying right on my pillow.
August 4th, 2010 on 10:07 pm
Was preparing for my finals of 12th std, suddenly had the urge to jack off.
Just as i was about to cum, the neighbor MILF comes in as sees me and smiles. I loose the erection as I was actually doing with her in mind and she was a friend of my moms.
Dont know if she reported, but couldn’t face her for the next couple of weeks.
August 5th, 2010 on 4:32 am
Night of my 21st birthday, my wife (then GF) swung by her place (lived with her mom) to grab something. She opens the garage door to go into the house. While I’m sitting in the car obliterated out of my mind, I have the greatest idea I’ve ever had. I go sit on the hood of her mom’s Jaguar and whip my dick out. When she comes walking out I tell her we’re fucking on the spot. While we’re discussing this, obviously her mom opens the door and sees me sitting there with my dick in my hand, completely shithoused. She looks me in the eye, looks at my dick, looks at me again, starts to say something, and just closes the door. I’ll never forget that night.
August 5th, 2010 on 10:54 pm
It was a late night and we had decided to have sex for the first time with my ex. We were quite sure no-one was awake and could come in to the room. Well after several minutes of slow passionate fucking I am going to climax when my mom fucking walks in with out knocking. Guess what. I got limp in millseconds. No climax. She told me she heard something strange and wanted to check out. Awkward part is she added: is everything alright? My ex laughed her ass off.
August 6th, 2010 on 2:59 am
Last Saturday night, fresh off a performance at the Boise Music Festival (where I discovered the Backstreet Boys do still tour, and also still do cheesy choreographed dance routines…but I digress), we threw a chill little house party with some people we met at the show, over at a friend’s place where we were staying for the night.
One of the girls was super into me, pretty damn attractive (at least to my taste) and had the perfect body for me. Figured this was a perfect storm of events and I should take advantage. We were all over each other throughout the day, even before we got back to the house, so naturally my friends started referring to her as random STD’s, rather than her actual name, e.g. ‘so whenever you’re done with syphilis will you go help put away the merch?’
She asks me to go outside with her while she smoked a cigarette (the party was in full swing, and the bedrooms were both occupied with the sleepers, so those weren’t an option, it was one of the two bathrooms, or outside). It was obvious to everyone that it would be the longest ‘cigarette break’ ever, but I didn’t really care.
In between our place and the next house over was a nice little grass ‘alleyway’ (they were townhomes), and it was safe from the view of either porch, and it being a suburban neighborhood at 1 a.m., we felt safe from any would-be intruders. We start going at it pretty heavily, half clothed (a.k.a. awkwardly with my pants at my ankles and nothing else on, which always seems like a good idea at the time).
On cue, she flips on top of me, and I lay helpless as her best friend and our manager sprint out the backdoor in some sort of drunken chase. Our manager successfully eludes ‘the beak’ (as she came to be known, wow my friends are dicks) right into our ‘alleyway’. We all pause speechless, me helpless underneath the girl, and our manager finally mutters, ‘Well, I ran the wrong way.’
I figured it couldn’t get worse than this, but a good 30 seconds after the manager went out of view, my little brother (yup) brings the iHome to the back porch, reaches it above his head, and blasts REO Speedwagon’s one song, ‘iiii can’t fight this feeeeeliin’ anymooooooorrree’ in it’s entirety.
As the song comes to a close, the rest of my bandmates come around from the front porch, armed with cell phones, video cameras, and flashlight apps from the Motorola Droid, which happens to be the second brightest star in the galaxy, little known fact.
In a world that doesn’t, Droid and my fucking friends do.
August 7th, 2010 on 11:21 pm
ok well one time My best friends , his friend, and me were all hanging out at his house. When suddenly my best friend decides to go take a shower ( he said he was rubbin one out, but we always say that as a joke. At least thats usually the case). My best friend has been in the shower for like 10 min.
Well me and this other guy think a prank is in store for making us wait so long. The bathroom lock is one of those ones where you can use a coin to unlock it. WE grab cold water and ice. We think were going to give him the surprise of his life. WERE WE EVER WRONG.
I pick the lock , and the other guy has the water , we open the door. You guessed it , he is sitting on the tolit with the shower water running , going to town. We stop slam the door and just look at each other. We shared a awkward laugh.
To make matters worse , he didn’t come out all embarrassed. Instead he stays , and finishes.
August 9th, 2010 on 3:03 am
one time, me and my girlfriend were going at it in her room, and her dad walks in out of NOWHERE.
now, heres’ where it gets funny: he just stood there, stunned and completely unable to react in anyway, and then he just turned around and left. After that, we all went into the other room and watched tv together, not saying a WORD, and hes never spoken about it since. On top of that, me and him are still good buddies, like it NEVER HAPPENED. I sincerely believe that he had a stroke or suffered from some brain damaging event.
October 18th, 2010 on 5:55 am
This afternoon actually. Our dorm is built so that there are 2 rooms that share a bathroom (connecting them). My roommate was graciously sleeping in the next room while my boyfriend was over. We had used the bathroom so door wasn’t locked but we were getting frisky and I didn’t want to ruin it by being anal about it (no pun intended). This particular position completely shielded him but offered whoever walked in a nice full-frontal, no nook or cranny left unexposed, view of me. The bathroom door opened and immediately shut. Incredibly embarrassing to say the least. We tried to keep going but it was too traumatic for me. First time caught too!