The Night I Fought Crime and Saved a Girl
filed in Man Stories on Jun.08, 1987
Next | Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Katie is mumbling under her breath. “Holy shit… holy shit…”
I feel her grip around me tighten.
The fights start to get worse, as the people who try to intervene start taking sides. Verbal insults begin to escalate into pushing, and eventually, more fighting.
People start shouting at everyone to get off the bus, or trying to get off themselves. Two guys push past Katie and me and slam into the back door.
It doesn’t open.
“What the fuck?!” one of them exclaims angrily, as he again tries to push it open.
People at the front are having similar problems.
It takes a minute for me to clue into what is happening.
“Yo!” I hear one of the teenagers yell. “He’s calling the fucking cops!”
Outside the bus, the bus driver has angrily and spitefully locked us all in a tomb of alcohol inspired violence and rage, while he proceeds to call the cops on the entire bus. The doors won’t open because he does not want them to open. We’ve been locked in like animals.
I can’t help but feel like I’m in Thunderdome all of a sudden.
The realization that we’re trapped makes people go ape shit—more than they already have. The fights continue between those already instigated, but suddenly no one is an onlooker anymore. People near the doors start to violent bash at the doors, trying to force them open. Women are screaming. Men are pulling at the emergency release latches on the windows, whose exteriors have long since frozen over in the sub-zero winter temperatures.
I see one man leaning on his back across two seats, kicking feverishly at a window. People are dashing in every direction, things are breaking, people are getting knocked over. One man is simply standing off to the side, literally punching everyone who comes into arms distance of himself.
As people are carelessly pushing past me, I realize that I am covering Katie, my back turned to the crowd, protecting her from all this craziness. For her part, Katie is holding on to me so tight I can feel her finger nails digging into me. Her head is buried in my chest.
Standing dead center in the bus is an incredibly dishevelled looking man, screaming non-stop at the top of his lungs. I can’t quite tell for sure in the chaos, but I’m pretty sure he’s pissing his pants as he screams.
Windows start falling off of the bus and metal and plastic crack and crumble as doors are forced open. Like rioting monkeys escaping a jungle orgy gone bad, people swarm out of every orifice of the bus.
As people are dashing past, I watch very clearly as one girl blatantly reaches out and grabs the purse of the passed out drunken mess nearby, and darts towards me, heading for the back exit nearby.
The drunk girl momentarily stirs, and mutters ever so quietly, “My purse…”
I’m terrible at confrontation. I hate getting involved. I really don’t like to put myself in any kind of vulnerable situation. I am literally a coward. And so I have no explanation for what I do next.
The thieving girl runs past Katie and myself, but before I realize it, I have grabbed the thieving girl by the arm as she passes.
“Hey!” she exclaims.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” I shout. I feel enraged at her. Ironic, considering all the shit that I’ve seen tonight.
I do not know the passed out drunken girl, and yet the thought of her being robbed is just too much for me to handle this New Year’s Eve.
I am about to call the teenage bitch a dirty thief. I’m about to snatch the purse back and give it back to the unconscious wino.
“Thief!” the now waking drunk girl calls. “Thief!” she calls louder now.
I’m about to tell the thieving slut that I better never catch her doing anything like this again, that she better clean up her act, that she should be ashamed of herself when, it happens: she spits in my face.
Her warm saliva hits me almost in the eye, and drools down my cheek. I barely flinch at all, too shocked I think to really act. She is staring at me with petrified eyes. Like when you realize that your feeble attempt to fight back has only made your attacker that much angrier, and worsened your situation.
I’m not proud of what I do next, but it’s what I do.
Spit still warm and wet, slowly running down my face, I clench my hand into a fist. I ball it up as tight as I can. I reach it back, almost in slow motion, and I let it fly forward, into the face of the thief. I punch the little bitch thief right in her cocky-ass face.
Yes, I hit a girl.











December 5th, 2009 on 9:43 am
This story seems promising…. roy :)
December 6th, 2009 on 3:10 am
Hope this ends well for you dude, but if you’re worried about having a dry spell in stories, why not just release one chapter a week, instead of two per week? We’re gonna read it in one sitting anyway, so I don’t get the point of two by two.
December 6th, 2009 on 6:14 am
I like it, caught my attention. Looking forward to the next parts.
December 6th, 2009 on 8:18 pm
that text “is it wrong to scream your own name during sex” is from mydrunktexts.com
December 6th, 2009 on 9:44 pm
he releases two by two so he cam make a little money the more people visit this site the more valuable it is in terms of advertising. therefore, if he has us visiting the site 4 or more times his site will go up in value much more than if we only visited it once. so two by two = 4 times the visits
December 7th, 2009 on 12:03 am
cant wait for the next parts!!! when its start to get interesting you ended it!!!
December 7th, 2009 on 12:30 am
It’s good to see I’m not the only chivalrous guy on the planet…
December 14th, 2009 on 3:11 am
With the exception of Fight Club, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone use the phrase “single-serving friend”. Well done, sir.
Great story so far!
December 17th, 2009 on 2:23 am
This story is great so far. Part 5 & 6 please.
December 21st, 2009 on 8:39 am
This is just getting better and better, I’m looking very much forward to the final of this one.
December 22nd, 2009 on 7:05 pm
I didn’t get a hint at getting wood after these two installments. Not happy, JD, not happy.
Only kidding!
December 23rd, 2009 on 5:27 am
Can’t wait to see what 7&8 is going to be!
December 24th, 2009 on 11:17 pm
y arent all the parts written all at once lol. this is a pretty cool story
December 27th, 2009 on 3:36 am
God damn man! I can’t wait anymore! Show 7 & 8 at once!!!
December 28th, 2009 on 12:29 am
Publish 7 & 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 28th, 2009 on 2:53 am
I really liked that story … so is it finished now or are there another parts coming?
The ending now is pretty melancholic … :-)
December 28th, 2009 on 4:07 am
Your best ending yet. Well done.
December 28th, 2009 on 4:22 am
damn… that was one of the best stories that didn’t involve sex or drinking… damn near teared up in the end.. extremely well done!
December 28th, 2009 on 4:32 am
anti-climactic….
December 28th, 2009 on 5:14 am
Goddamnit, this one almost made me cry…
December 28th, 2009 on 5:26 am
Wao… seriously, this is your best story ever. This is movie material man. Or even better: a full book. JD, you’ve got my full respect for this one.
December 28th, 2009 on 6:32 am
I APPROVE
December 28th, 2009 on 8:14 am
This finale comes not 20 minutes after having been rejected in much the same manner. This is just what I needed. Thanks, JD.
-Will in B.C.
December 28th, 2009 on 8:27 am
Not the ending I was expecting, but still a pretty good story.
December 28th, 2009 on 9:14 am
this really was not what i expected for an end. but really, it’s so much better of an end than what i expected. wow. thanks for this story
December 28th, 2009 on 10:11 am
Sweet ending, thanks a lot man :)
December 28th, 2009 on 3:16 pm
I really liked the ending, different to most of your other stories, but I think its one of the best ones.
December 28th, 2009 on 6:54 pm
Enpsiring
December 28th, 2009 on 9:00 pm
Great story, Im guessing its all true. Very impressive use of words. I found myself excited to hear what was coming next. The way you handled things made it easy for me to picture myself in your place so I was kinda disappointed when you didn’t get together with the girl.. but hey, then the ending wouldn’t have been as good.
December 29th, 2009 on 12:26 am
I HAVE to know if you ever texted Katie in the future and if she ever broke up with her boyfriend did she think to call you?
December 29th, 2009 on 2:05 am
hehe, nice ending.
December 29th, 2009 on 6:15 am
ok so….what did she text to your friends?
December 29th, 2009 on 6:18 am
Wait you can scratch that last comment, I was reading too fast and gazed over the reference to “Roy”.
Good story man, you should still try to keep in contact with her….never know what the future holds.
December 29th, 2009 on 1:22 pm
I really liked this one, it had a very festive-holidays-ishy mood to it. I was really hoping for a happy ending for this one. Like in the movies and so on.
January 1st, 2010 on 3:29 am
Really liked the ending.
January 2nd, 2010 on 5:07 am
wow man all of your stories have been absolutely amazing i cant wait until i hear the next one and all the ones to come after that
maybe a book one day….?
January 2nd, 2010 on 5:43 am
Even if it is all true…he can’t “keep in touch” or “text her back”. He doesn’t have her number (nor she, his). She set a calender reminder on HIS phone. She did not text him from hers.
Good story. I think it would make for a very funny short film.
January 4th, 2010 on 1:14 am
What did those texts mean?
January 4th, 2010 on 5:49 am
Great story man!! The ending was very touching and I’m so glad it ended that way instead of sex.
Cheers to you and I look forward to your next story.
January 4th, 2010 on 10:13 pm
this is the best story i have ever read in my entire life.
January 5th, 2010 on 7:04 pm
dude, I wanna be your friend so bad.
January 6th, 2010 on 5:28 am
Counterpart,
This is what I’m talking about jd! You surprised me with this and I loved it! It is tenderly written, funny, entertaining, great descriptions with an emotionally touching ending. Looking forward to what you put out next year my friend :)
xc
January 6th, 2010 on 11:01 am
can someone explain pls what the last sentence means? I’m not a native English speaker, I have the feeling I’m missing a pun.
January 6th, 2010 on 1:01 pm
I love that story. Beautifully written, too.
More please.
January 7th, 2010 on 3:24 pm
awesome story bro. you got talent with writing
January 8th, 2010 on 11:01 pm
Well done!
January 12th, 2010 on 6:04 am
Awwww :)
January 18th, 2010 on 6:43 am
I actually thought it would be some weird but hot japanese bus rape kinda things were the girl starts rubbing this balls on the bus or something of that nature. Great story anywayz but man that blows tho you didnt get katie. I hate cock teasies like that man.
January 20th, 2010 on 5:42 pm
JD I’m disappointed! You were supposed to end up with her forever! What a great “How Mommy and Daddy Met” story!
pththth
January 26th, 2010 on 11:34 am
Dude, I’m bummed after reading this. I wanted to see you get the girl. Gah!!!
February 11th, 2010 on 12:47 am
For those confused by the ending: She set up a calendar alert on his phone when she took it; she didn’t text anyone or put in her number or anything like that. When he said “Exit Katie” it really does mean he never saw or heard from her again.
February 22nd, 2010 on 2:44 am
I’ve read your stories off and on for a while. This is by far my favorite.
March 1st, 2010 on 12:35 pm
Hi I’m realy blown away from this story. Now I will have a smille on my face for the rest of the day… Thank you for posting!! What a world we live in!! That dude that had her for a girlfriend should be a realy lucky guy!! well It’s a new year with new stories to be created. you will find some one more awesome! your a good guy!
March 12th, 2010 on 3:22 am
Love the story! Thanks JD
March 30th, 2010 on 6:04 am
Hey…at least you know where she lives? =P
April 17th, 2010 on 5:50 am
Man! I wanted him to get with her! I’ve been in that situation FAR too many times.
May 9th, 2010 on 4:10 pm
Brilliant story, I loved it.
I hope stories like this will help me step a bit further with girls.
thanks
Inspiring
June 22nd, 2010 on 12:27 pm
Ordinary people having a hollywood kinda romance -love it!
PS: You should deff call her! Once in a month to see if she still has a boyfriend (:
August 19th, 2010 on 1:15 pm
hey jd
is that story true?
its a great one anyway :-D
i really enjoyed it, and i read it at once, and i rarley read anything at once :D
August 28th, 2010 on 9:09 am
Awww…but nice story!!! =DDD I was hoping that katie is single…LOL so that she could be with the author.