My friend Zoey once got driving lessons from her boyfriend. Since that single lesson, he has doggedly refused to give her any more help. The reason for his refusal has to do with how the lessons ended. One night they find an empty parking lot in which to practice. Zoey’s boyfriend trades places with her, and the lesson begins. Zoey’s a slow learner, and after more than an hour of instruction, is still not quite in the swing of things yet. Her boyfriend gets her to pull up to some bushes near a ravine and he ducks out for a quick piss. As he’s pissing, Zoey suddenly gets the bright idea to scare him by flashing him with the lights. She fumbles around in the car a bit, as she actually doesn’t know how to turn on the lights. Needless to say, she doesn’t find the lights, but instead accidentally shifts the car into neutral. As it starts to roll onto the grass, towards her boyfriend, she begins frantically screaming, honking the horn, and hitting the brakes. In fact, she’s hitting the gas. Zoey’s poor boyfriend is in mid-piss when he suddenly hears the honking, screaming, and loud revving of an approaching engine. Zoey manages to find the brakes, and stop the car from falling into the ravine, but not before her boyfriend is hit by the car, going up over the hood of the car, pissing all over himself, and falling face down in the dirt. The downside is that Zoey’s boyfriend has refused to give her any lessons since, but the upside is that she did in fact manage to scare him. Zoey still doesn’t have a license.
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