One nice thing about winter is vacationing somewhere hot in the Caribbean. One year, we all go to a resort in Cuba. Both friends and friends of friends come along. But there’s this one friend of a friend I’ll never forget: Kimmy. She’s a big girl. And when I say big, I mean big
. And she’s loud. She talks about herself all the time, yells loudly at people, has no shame and no tact—even her laugh loud and effortful, like she’s only really doing it to get attention. She’s obnoxious and bossy and a know-it-all. And she walks around in bikinis with her hair pulled into a tight pony tail, smoking non-stop. She keeps her smokes in her bikini top, with her oversized, saggy tits, and jokes that it’s her “shelf”. Anyway, in Cuba, to the locals, the whiter you are, the hotter you are. So here’s Kimmy, hooking up like there’s no tomorrow, bragging about how she does this all the time at home. I shit you not, this huge, obnoxious girl is suddenly scoring nonstop. She’s banging locals in bathrooms at clubs, getting quickies behind bushes at the beach, she even hooks up with two roommates (not at once mind you). She meets them at a club, they’re staff at the resort. She takes the first guy home to her room and hooks up with him. Then she leaves for a midnight snack. On the walk to the snack bar though, she bumps into the other guy, so she goes home with him, to his place, and just never returns to the first guy! She probably pulled more ass in that one week that I did in the last few years. I guess it just goes to show you, there’s a place out there for everyone.
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